Is fear stopping you?

I remember that day well, shivers still going down my spine as I think about it.

It was 4 years ago now and I was contemplating setting up my own business. A fellow coach suggested joining a local network group to get some ideas. Terrified at the idea, I reached out and signed up to try out a local meeting. Then came the dreaded phone call the evening before the event…… a lovely voice on the other end of the phone telling me that part of the meeting was a round of the table, where everyone would give a 60 second pitch on their business.

My heart started to race, head swamped with dread and all I could think of was what illness could I dream up that would come on so rapidly, it would be the perfect excuse not to show up at the meeting.  Just to give some context, I had worked on the frontline for many years, set up and ran the Breast Imaging Unit in Cork University Hospital and worked on many acquisition and procurement projects in the health service with ease, but the idea of standing up, putting myself out there, promoting myself and my new business was a whole other story.

Thankfully, with the help of my two young daughters (who thought the whole thing was hilarious), I didn’t back out. I shuddered and shook like a leaf as I did my pitch but the big result was that I did it, and guess what…..nobody died, nobody made rude faces at me, nobody laughed, I survived. That was a big moment for me.

Four years on, and not long out of lockdown, I am hearing it in my coaching practice and from colleagues, fear and dread at the thought of networking in-person, at the thought of presenting in-person or fear of attending meetings in which a contribution is expected in-person with no screen to hide behind. But here is the reality; that is the brain kicking in. The human brain is wired for safety, for connection and any threat to that safety whether real or not, triggers a threat response in the brain sending the body into a state of fight or flight. This state is easily recognisable with all the usual signs and symptions

• Racing heart

• Quick breathing

• Funny tummy

• Sweaty palms

• Stiff neck and shoulders

So, in essence the brain is doing exactly what it is built to do, trying to keep us safe.

However, we have evolved a lot since the days of the jungle when every threat was life threatening and the brain was required to trigger the fight or flight reaction. Unfortunately, the subconscious part of the brain has not evolved all that much so we need to activate the rational part of the brain to reassure ourselves that in actual fact this is not a life threatening situation, but rather an opportunity to grow, learn and develop.

Thankfully the brain is plastic and can be rewired to think differently, to change perspective and to see things in a new light. This takes time and effort but consistently working on it is key to living a more fulfilled life unleashing all that greatness you have inside.

Back to me, last week it meant a lot more than the people in the room would have known, when Mike Grogan of Verity Financial presented me with prize for best 60 second pitch at the South Dublin Chamber B2B meeting. I chuckled quietly to myself as I remembered that very first networking meeting and my knees giving way under the table as I stood up to stumble through my 60 second pitch.